Life as we know it

I am learning  a lot and it is hard.  Either you die to self and let Christ live and love through you or don't even bother.  Doing it in your own strength just isn't an option.  I don't know why I try.  I'm sure it's not supposed to be this hard - must be because the old man is still alive and I live by sight rather than faith, I walk in the flesh rather than the Spirit.  God help me - every morning I want to wake with this request in mind: "Not my will but thine be done."  Letting go?  Yes, and believing that whatever it was I was holding onto just wasn't worth having anyway.