Life as we know it

I am learning  a lot and it is hard.  Either you die to self and let Christ live and love through you or don't even bother.  Doing it in your own strength just isn't an option.  I don't know why I try.  I'm sure it's not supposed to be this hard - must be because the old man is still alive and I live by sight rather than faith, I walk in the flesh rather than the Spirit.  God help me - every morning I want to wake with this request in mind: "Not my will but thine be done."  Letting go?  Yes, and believing that whatever it was I was holding onto just wasn't worth having anyway.

Books I am Reading

One of the cutting edge books on "new movements within the American church" is "Why we're not emergent" - it is helpful in sorting out some of the new trends in "seeker sensitive' and attempts to reach PostModerns (without becoming PM) A student I meet with grew up in Calvary Baptist (his parents are still active) and he went through Christian school. He is now an agnostic who sees no need for God or Religion. He has been influenced by Ayn Rand & "Objectivist Philosophy" I had read an essay by her called "The Virtue of Selfishness" (says it all - doesn't it? She strongly argues laissez-faire Capitalism) but she is better known for her novels - Atlas Shrugged and the Fountainhead. Since I know two others who are Objectivist Randians - including a Cave guy (a.k.a. "hair Mike") and my best friend since Junior High (Bret is an Obama-lovin' Democrat and Captain in the Army J.A.G.) thought it was time for me to slug through one of these 700+ page novels. I am almost halfway into the Fountainhead (which identifies the human ego as the "source" of motivation and progress) getting to know protagonist Howard Rourke, architectural genius who got kicked out of Tech school for always wanting to do things "his way" and was never willing to bow to social convention. It is thought-provoking. I also recently read "Irresistable Revolution" by Shane Claiborne - also thought-provoking and much more edifying - challenging and convicting even. So there you have it - a couple of book reviews, sort of.

Lost in Blogland

How could it have been so long since my last entry?

In the words of Inigo, "There's no time to 'splain, let me sum up."

It would be impossible to describe the events of the last six months and their impact.

Suffice it to say, when you thought it couldn't get any worse - you didn't realize how good you had it.

A word that keeps coming to mind is "overwhelmed."

"I know you can be 'overwhelmed' and I think you can be 'underwhelmed' but do you think you can ever be just 'whelmed?' - What movie is that from?

I had a chance over Christmas break to meet with an English prof. - a friend who teaches and also writes.  I got some direction for doing the difficult work of re-writing some chapters and organizing my "raw material" for the book I must someday get published.  It's about "Conversations with Students" but so much more.  Like how to get past the smokescreens to find out what people's REAL questions and issues are.  You know, because "people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."  So a possible title would be "Tread lightly the Path to a Beating Heart."

I still marvel at my ability to see God at work and then in the next minute or two wonder where He went and if I'm gonna be okay.

The guy who said "We have nothing to fear but fear itself" may have thought he was offering comfort and encouragement, but I have a feeling he didn't struggle much with fear, Real or imagined.

Haddon, age 4, asked me one morning if he could wear an outfit he saw hanging in his closet.

"No," I said, "Those are Sunday clothes."

"Well," he asked, "what day is it?"

"Wednesday, " I told him.

"Okay," he said, "then get me some Wednesday clothes!"

There are an awful lot of "urgent" things I seem to need to do right away.

But when I choose to do the "important" things like spending time with my kids or leading a Bible study or meeting with students for discipleship or sharing the Gospel, I have more peace and don't feel so frantic.

The Enemy wants to distract me and have me worry about plans and preparations, or my lack thereof.  But as my friend Leo says, "You did this on purpose!"

"What?"  I ask him.

"You left it unplanned so that God would step in and do something."

"Honestly, I'm not that purposeful, and I don't have that much faith.  It just always seems to happen that way when i do what comes naturally."

We are enjoying hearing from our daughter in Europe, her e-mails and friends' pics on Facebook.  She almost didn't get there because two passes were closed the day we needed to take her to the airport and the third pass closed while we were enroute to it (mudslides).

But God made a way on a flight out of Yakima that was overbooked (they found a bigger plane)

And none too soon - 10:30 for an 11 a.m. flight that didn't leave till after noon but got her to SEATAC in plenty of time for her 2:40 flight to Frankfurt.

So far we've gotten the reports from Berlin and Prague - cold weather but having the time of her life with great companions.

Perhaps getting "back on the bloglist."  won't be that hard now that I've broken the ice.

Notice the new family photo - yep eight kids - count'em.

Until next time.  

Leaving blogland

Matt