God in my Coffee - cont.

Something went wrong with the screen on my I-pad and I couldn't scroll down to finish this entry.
I'm sure you're all wondering why it was titled "God in my Coffee."
Well, you see, after I got through the morning and got past the feelings and the lack of feelings (numbness?) and the mental tangent about "if I were a car . . ." - did you know that a tangent is the place where a line intersects a circle at only one point!?
Well after all that, I made it to Starbucks and ordered a short, bold, drip and they had to do a "pour over" ( is that T.M.I.?) and I took the lid off and smelled it and tasted it, because I always do that to test the aroma and flavor before masking all its imperfections with cream (now that's T.M.I.!), then, at that very moment, God met me and came to me and crawled up into my nostrils through the smell of the coffee!  And then I realized that He was there all along and waiting to be recognized and all it took was that familiar aroma - you know how our sense of smell is the strongest connection to certain memories?  Well in that moment I made a connection with all of the good things in my life and realized that God is good and the source of all that's good because "Every good and perfect gift comes from above . . . from the Father of Lights" and I'm sure that applies to coffee as well, whether it's Starbucks or Tully's or Peet's.  And that's my story because that's what happened to me.  He snuck up on me and surprised me when I least expected it - only now I'm going to be expecting it more and even looking for it!  And you should too.

God in my Coffee

My 10 a.m. appointment was canceled but I came to Starbucks anyway.  It's  been that kind of morning.  Not that things were really going wrong, I just didn't feel right.

I know we're not supposed to live by our feelings (I told this to my wife once early on in our marriage, now this "life altering truth" has come back to haunt me.)  After I awoke early (5:30) and attempted to pray for my family and the rest of the world, I lay back down to "soak."

My mind was fully awake and trying to get a head start on the day without waiting for my body to catch up.  Considering what was involved in getting up to face the day, my soul launched a counter-offensive, "We need some more 'down time' here, we're not ready for this, 'God loves me!  Cast all your care upon Him, He cares for you!  Hold me Jesus!'"

Funny thing, as long as I'm laying there, mind racing, I can have these conversations with myself (hence the use of the "royal we" in describing what we said to ourself, ourselves?)  But the feelings don't always settle out by telling myself to relax, by quoting scripture to myself, even by praying and crying out to God.  (I first discovered this during my 3 year bout with depression, when anxiety was a real problem.  I get some temporary relief but then the slow ride up takes the little car "over the top" just like an amusement park ride and down I go, hanging on for dear life.  Only I'm not amused.

There's only one thing to do.  Get up.  But why would I want to do that?  Because I've learned from experience that when I take action, the feelings come in line.  So I rise, put the coffee on, get dressed, and start to put out the breakfast.  It's amazing.  I'm starting to feel better about this day.

So what's up with these feelings?  I'm thinking that if I were a car, feelings would not be the engine, the fuel, the wheels, or the gas pedal, not even the leather seats.  (Don't ask me where the brakes are, I've been looking all over and just haven't found them yet!)  No, I think feelings are more like the guages.  They don't make the thing go or even tell me where to go, but if I pay attention to them, they can really help me with my driving.

What in the world does that mean?  If my speedo says I'm doing 90 mph I may want to think about letting up on the accelerator  (no one in their right mind would set the cruise control that high!)  Or if my fuel guage is on empty I know it's time to stop for gas.  And when the temperature guage registers on the "Hot" side I better look into what's wrong with my cooling system.

Back to my morning - I took my wife her morning coffee and went to wake up the boys.  Then we eventually gathered at the kitchen table for breakfast and family worship.  I apologized to Gramma for ignoring her at dinner last night while reading e-mails on the laptop.  Then we pray and I read while they eat.  It's a pretty exciting passage in Luke 4 when Jesus reads from Isaiah and announces in the synagogue that he has come to set the captives free.  But again I'm not feeling it.  All I can think of is the Justice Conference in February and how are we going to cover our bases here while we travel to So Cal for a week!

After reciting James 1 (more challenge than comfort here) and singing the "triple holy song" I close in prayer.  What's missing?  I tune the guitars and help the boys load up so they can go to "Worship class" and their other home-school co-op activities.  Soren needs help converting fractions to repeating decimals and the car needs to be warmed up and scraped of its ice.  Somewhere in there I failed to validate someone's feelings.  That was a BIG mistake and now I'm feeling it.  But it's nice to know where those are coming from, unlike the ones that float around like dark clouds, waiting to dump on me.

Suddenly "Hope Springs Eternal in the Human Breast."  I am, after all is said and done, an incurable optimist.  I see what I did wrong, I understand what I could have done differently, maybe I can do better next time!  It's not about the salt in the cookies.  That's a relief.  Like Soren said, "That's a funny thing to argue about."  (He's pretty sharp, maybe he'll do better than his Dad, though I sometimes  see some scary similarites.

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Thoughts on Carl Sagan’s “Pale Blue Dot”

http://www.upworthy.com/the-single-most-mind-altering-photograph-humanity-has-ever-taken

It's amazing that an atheist like Carl Sagan can draw so much inspiration here.
I think of David in Psalm 19 - "The Heavens declare the Glory of God!"

But for the Naturalist Nature or the Cosmos must take God's place, assuming the attributes of deity.
And in many ways this Great Reality -
 that we are so small and yet Human Life on this planet is so unique and significant -
serves a similar purpose as does an awareness of God.

The word "Perspective" is "spot on" here. (As the Brits would say.)
There's always something to bring my life, my problems, my suffering into a context
which both dwarves them by proportions, and at the same time reminds that small things are still meaningful.

Significance is never measured by size, but by impact or influence, like that "baby in the manger!"

The "pale Blue Dot" image and commentary would itself be brought into perspective
by a journey into the cells and molecules and atoms that make up this world,
and a consideration of their minuscule proportions, as well as their inordinate complexity and importance.

What I Learned on the Road to Mexico

It's impossible to say just how much these trips to Mexico have meant to me.  

Since 1986 there were only 4 years when I didn't spend either Spring Break or Christmas break on a 2500 mile road trip "south of the border" to work, to learn, to grow.  

We did this for the chance to commune with God and others while serving across political borders, socio-economic boundaries, and cultural lines. 

If I could fully describe it, then you wouldn't have to go and experience it for yourself.  But you do.

But if I didn't try to describe it I wouldn't be a writer.  My "inner wordsmith" would keep battering my heart from the inside out for a chance to express the inexpressible.

Stories and poems must have the chance to do their work until you're called away from your life "up here" and drawn out and into the life "down there."

Only then will you take your place around the campfire after a day of manual labor, afraid to lick your blistered thumb for fear of the taste of wet wipes and hand sanitizer.

The heat and light from the fire attract the newbie "missionaries" who've just finished their campstove meal of tuna casserole, the only known recipe to incorporate 4 food groups with only 5 ingredients!

But the warmth of the fire is soon dwarfed by the intense passion of hearts united in praise and worship.  

The songbooks viewed by headlamp and the guitarists feeling their way through the chord changes with eyes closed to keep out the smoke.

The illumination is of another kind as each one shares of today's "God-sightings," amazing "coincidences" that appear as if they were planned.

Others speak of "Hearing God's Voice," knowing He spoke and remembering how clearly His point was made.

As Group Leader the opportunity to bring "The Talk" feels like on big "teachable moment."

Scripture comes alive as I talk not about "you should" or "you ought" but "this is what we've been living on this trip.

Themes of servanthood, sacrifice, changed values are viewed through eyes that have just seen Jesus in the face of a child.

Renewed purpose and clearer focus are applied to hearts that felt "at home" building a home for strangers in a foreign country.

"We left our warm houses and soft beds to sleep on the ground in tents for a few days.

So that Jose' and Maria and their family can have a dry place to lay their heads in days to come."

"We left the paved roads and smooth highway to bounce along through dirt and mudholes in search of real treasure.  

And we have found it - here among the community of the less advantaged."

They All Wondered, But Mary Pondered

“And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds.
But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.”  - Luke 2:18-19

I wonder as I wander, but when I ponder, my roots go deep.
My eyes may marvel, but will my mind meditate?
Someone has observed, “Children have lost the capacity to lie in the grass and watch a caterpillar crawl across a leaf.”
We’ve lost it.  It hasn’t always been that way.  Let me tell you a story.

We have raised many children.  We almost lost count. 
Not really, but sometimes it seems like it. 
People say “Whoa, that’s a lot of kids!”
And I’m like, “What?  It’s less than 10.  We’re not even in the double digits!”

Each one is memorable, but there’s something about the first.
I’ll never forget the night Amanda learned to laugh. 
We lived in an on-campus apartment at Denver Seminary and she was in an infant seat on the couch.

Who knows what started the whole thing.
Once we discovered she was capable of that response, the idea was to do it again, to keep it going. 
It was so incredibly entertaining.  Our little girl had a sense of humor.
Her round face and chubby cheeks shook as the convulsive cackling bubbled up from deep inside our little bundle of joy.

That’s how we spent the evening.  It went on and on. 
There wasn’t anything we wanted better than to make Amanda laugh. 
And laugh she did.  I remember wondering later how we had filled our time before God gave us this beautiful little girl.

We wondered, we marveled, but did we ponder, did we meditate?  Not at the time. 
It seems like there wasn’t time.  But we saved the memory, so we could savor it later. 
That’s appropriate, because I’m told that the word for meditate has parallels with a cow chewing her cud. 
She stores it away, then brings it out to chew it again.

Another time this dear little daughter had learned to sit up on her own. 

A wonderful time of life: “Cherish the days of immobility!” 
You could put her down and know right where she’d be a half an hour later. 
Sitting near her on the floor, I for some reason decided to lean forward.  Then I noticed that she copied my actions!  What fun!

I told Susi about it and we took turns leaning in front of her and watching her lean down in imitation. 
Then we’d laugh and she’d laugh.  It went on and on.

What was that all about?  Well it wasn’t just the behavior that amused us. 
We also had an awareness that some higher functioning of the brain was kicking in. 
At that point in her development she observed, she got motivated, she decided and she followed through! 
Wow!  Emerging consciousness in a six month old!

Then there was the “Johnny Jump Up.”
An amazing invention that allows you to place an infant safely in a sling on the end of a spring and adjust it so that toes and feet just touch the floor. 
As the baby realizes the results of pushing off - Viola! - you create an awareness of self-determination.  And again a smile lights up her face.

The sobering thought that accompanies my memories of Amanda in a “Johnny Jump Up” was how it freed me up to get back to reading books and writing papers. 
At one particularly stressful point while writing my thesis, I noticed Amanda bouncing away as I went from one room into another. 
(The JJU always had to be mounted in a doorway.)

It slowed me down just long enough to stop and think - to ponder. 
I wondered, “Five years from now, which will be more important, My thesis or my daughter?” 
Even in the midst of my “publish or perish” crisis the answer was obvious.
I knelt down and looked at the little round face, peering into those deep blue eyes. 
Her response never disappointed me.  A smile lit up her face and enlightened my priorities.

Twenty nine years later as I sit in my office writing this, my thesis sits on a shelf, collecting dust. 
It’s full of profound insights into “The Apologetic of C.S. Lewis as an Art and a Science.” 
There are even a few people other than my mentor who have read it.

But across the room there sits a framed photo from my daughter’s wedding. 
We are emerging from a stand of white birch trees as I bring her down the trail that leads to the altar. 
We are pausing. 
As she holds onto my arm with one hand and her bouquet with the other I am turned to speak. 
Her face shows that she is listening.  I wouldn’t trade that for a thousand theses.

We have shared the wonder of life, with all its amazing discoveries. 
We have pondered, and yes, at times, we have meditated. 
Because so many “moments” in life have import far beyond the “blink of an eye” that it takes to experience them. 
But if we see them for what they are, we will treasure them. 
And we’ll bring them back out to enjoy and benefit from for years to come.

Christmas Prose

God came down!  He put on skin and walked among men!
We beheld His glory - we saw how good He was - He shone!
The same light that lit the stars, the glory of the skies was in His face - full of Grace and Truth.

Everything changed that night. 
Angelic messengers have been coming and going since the dawn of time. 
Perhaps they climbed up and down on Jacob’s ladder - bringing news of Heaven to Earth.

Then in a flurry of angelic visitations and divine revelations, God made preparations for Heaven to come in person!  Zecheriah was told of John the Baptist’s birth and role as “Fore-runner.”  Mary had to be let in on the little secret of her pregnancy, conceived by the Holy Spirit!  Good thing Joseph also got the message, straight from an Angel!

Wise men saw it in the stars
and were then warned in a dream not to share the details about the “new” King
with the wicked “old” King Herod. 
Shepherds got the royal celestial light show,
complete with a “cast of thousands” to accompany the “Word” that was told them.

All because Heaven was breaking out - it couldn’t contain itself
It spilled over and onto the earth that blessed, Holy night. 
Now we, who with unveiled faces behold the Lord’s glory,
can be a part of God’s unfolding plan to bring heaven to Earth.

Thy will be done!  Let Heaven come!  In every heart prepare Him room!

Christmas Poem

The night was holy, the night was clear,
a cosmic event was happening here

Upon the earth a plan was unfolding
because of the babe that Mary was holding

Away in a manger the infant slept
a ray of hope into all hearts crept

The Lord that was come brought Joy to the World
while skies full of angels his banner unfurled

Jacob’s ladder bridged heaven and earth
Jacob’s descendent gave heaven birth

Nothing now could be the same,
Heaven had shared its holy flame

Stars that burned since dawn of time
now joined Angels in visual rhyme

Glory that always had filled the skies
Now was revealed in a baby’s cries

What Child is this? could rightly be asked
The face of God was being unmasked

Listen, what’s that the angels sing?
Glory to the newborn King

Having visited our demise
He can raise us to the skies

Consider all he came to do
Life from Heaven for me and you

Just as God’s will in Heaven is done
So also on Earth through the birth of His Son!