Some things I have learned:

• Relationships are the only things that matter.
• When they are intentionally redemptive we are about God’s work.
• Ask God each day for a sign that He is there.
• Then watch closely and be willing to accept it.
• If you want to be happy, be thankful.
• If you want to make others happy, affirm them.
• When I think I’m in control, I’m really not.
• When things seem out of control, God is in control.
• When you love people, you will feel pain.
• God loved us, and was willing to experience that pain.
• God is always greater than we had previously thought.
• God’s goodness comes as a gift.
• Open hearts and empty hands allow us to receive from God.
• Grace is His funds that we get to invest.

Change

Amanda's Birthday Poem!

After the CAVE

Every step I've taken,
every hill I've climbed,
every time I stumbled,
each way I pursued,
seeking truth and life
All the views I've studied,
and every perspective gained,
through the valleys I trudged
to the summits I reached,
Swamps I almost got stuck in,
sloughs of despond that threatened to hold me
every painful path, broken dream, false summit,
perplexing fork in the road,
and times when there was not a trail to follow,
only a scramble through the Brush,
every winding of the Road,
peaceful wayside rest, treacherous ascent,
have ALL led me to the Place
where I am Right Now,
and IT IS GOOD!
It is well with my soul.

- MNL 11/13/2015

Just Checking In

I should have known.  Anything that claims it will teach you in "one easy lesson" won't be that easy.  At least not for me.
There were two handy dandy tutorials for setting up a blogsite.  One said "in only twenty minutes" and the other "in less than eight minutes."
Well, here I am, after investing about a half hour last night, and then over an hour this morning.  I guess that's not too bad.
I hope to be here every morning.  You don't need to get up as early as me.  I hope to share a few ideas with you as my body wakes up and my mind catches up.  C.S. Lewis was once described as "A Mind Awake."  That's something I aspire to.  This blog will be an attempt to connect with other awake minds, or perhaps those who, like me, are just waking up.
With respect to setting up a site, I've heard it said that "the worthwhile things are seldom easy, and the easy things are seldom worthwhile!"  I guess that's true of blogging too.

*Check out my new Blog on Wordpress: "Matt Lundquist - Waking Up my Mind"

God in my Coffee - cont.

Something went wrong with the screen on my I-pad and I couldn't scroll down to finish this entry.
I'm sure you're all wondering why it was titled "God in my Coffee."
Well, you see, after I got through the morning and got past the feelings and the lack of feelings (numbness?) and the mental tangent about "if I were a car . . ." - did you know that a tangent is the place where a line intersects a circle at only one point!?
Well after all that, I made it to Starbucks and ordered a short, bold, drip and they had to do a "pour over" ( is that T.M.I.?) and I took the lid off and smelled it and tasted it, because I always do that to test the aroma and flavor before masking all its imperfections with cream (now that's T.M.I.!), then, at that very moment, God met me and came to me and crawled up into my nostrils through the smell of the coffee!  And then I realized that He was there all along and waiting to be recognized and all it took was that familiar aroma - you know how our sense of smell is the strongest connection to certain memories?  Well in that moment I made a connection with all of the good things in my life and realized that God is good and the source of all that's good because "Every good and perfect gift comes from above . . . from the Father of Lights" and I'm sure that applies to coffee as well, whether it's Starbucks or Tully's or Peet's.  And that's my story because that's what happened to me.  He snuck up on me and surprised me when I least expected it - only now I'm going to be expecting it more and even looking for it!  And you should too.

God in my Coffee

My 10 a.m. appointment was canceled but I came to Starbucks anyway.  It's  been that kind of morning.  Not that things were really going wrong, I just didn't feel right.

I know we're not supposed to live by our feelings (I told this to my wife once early on in our marriage, now this "life altering truth" has come back to haunt me.)  After I awoke early (5:30) and attempted to pray for my family and the rest of the world, I lay back down to "soak."

My mind was fully awake and trying to get a head start on the day without waiting for my body to catch up.  Considering what was involved in getting up to face the day, my soul launched a counter-offensive, "We need some more 'down time' here, we're not ready for this, 'God loves me!  Cast all your care upon Him, He cares for you!  Hold me Jesus!'"

Funny thing, as long as I'm laying there, mind racing, I can have these conversations with myself (hence the use of the "royal we" in describing what we said to ourself, ourselves?)  But the feelings don't always settle out by telling myself to relax, by quoting scripture to myself, even by praying and crying out to God.  (I first discovered this during my 3 year bout with depression, when anxiety was a real problem.  I get some temporary relief but then the slow ride up takes the little car "over the top" just like an amusement park ride and down I go, hanging on for dear life.  Only I'm not amused.

There's only one thing to do.  Get up.  But why would I want to do that?  Because I've learned from experience that when I take action, the feelings come in line.  So I rise, put the coffee on, get dressed, and start to put out the breakfast.  It's amazing.  I'm starting to feel better about this day.

So what's up with these feelings?  I'm thinking that if I were a car, feelings would not be the engine, the fuel, the wheels, or the gas pedal, not even the leather seats.  (Don't ask me where the brakes are, I've been looking all over and just haven't found them yet!)  No, I think feelings are more like the guages.  They don't make the thing go or even tell me where to go, but if I pay attention to them, they can really help me with my driving.

What in the world does that mean?  If my speedo says I'm doing 90 mph I may want to think about letting up on the accelerator  (no one in their right mind would set the cruise control that high!)  Or if my fuel guage is on empty I know it's time to stop for gas.  And when the temperature guage registers on the "Hot" side I better look into what's wrong with my cooling system.

Back to my morning - I took my wife her morning coffee and went to wake up the boys.  Then we eventually gathered at the kitchen table for breakfast and family worship.  I apologized to Gramma for ignoring her at dinner last night while reading e-mails on the laptop.  Then we pray and I read while they eat.  It's a pretty exciting passage in Luke 4 when Jesus reads from Isaiah and announces in the synagogue that he has come to set the captives free.  But again I'm not feeling it.  All I can think of is the Justice Conference in February and how are we going to cover our bases here while we travel to So Cal for a week!

After reciting James 1 (more challenge than comfort here) and singing the "triple holy song" I close in prayer.  What's missing?  I tune the guitars and help the boys load up so they can go to "Worship class" and their other home-school co-op activities.  Soren needs help converting fractions to repeating decimals and the car needs to be warmed up and scraped of its ice.  Somewhere in there I failed to validate someone's feelings.  That was a BIG mistake and now I'm feeling it.  But it's nice to know where those are coming from, unlike the ones that float around like dark clouds, waiting to dump on me.

Suddenly "Hope Springs Eternal in the Human Breast."  I am, after all is said and done, an incurable optimist.  I see what I did wrong, I understand what I could have done differently, maybe I can do better next time!  It's not about the salt in the cookies.  That's a relief.  Like Soren said, "That's a funny thing to argue about."  (He's pretty sharp, maybe he'll do better than his Dad, though I sometimes  see some scary similarites.

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Thoughts on Carl Sagan’s “Pale Blue Dot”

http://www.upworthy.com/the-single-most-mind-altering-photograph-humanity-has-ever-taken

It's amazing that an atheist like Carl Sagan can draw so much inspiration here.
I think of David in Psalm 19 - "The Heavens declare the Glory of God!"

But for the Naturalist Nature or the Cosmos must take God's place, assuming the attributes of deity.
And in many ways this Great Reality -
 that we are so small and yet Human Life on this planet is so unique and significant -
serves a similar purpose as does an awareness of God.

The word "Perspective" is "spot on" here. (As the Brits would say.)
There's always something to bring my life, my problems, my suffering into a context
which both dwarves them by proportions, and at the same time reminds that small things are still meaningful.

Significance is never measured by size, but by impact or influence, like that "baby in the manger!"

The "pale Blue Dot" image and commentary would itself be brought into perspective
by a journey into the cells and molecules and atoms that make up this world,
and a consideration of their minuscule proportions, as well as their inordinate complexity and importance.

What I Learned on the Road to Mexico

It's impossible to say just how much these trips to Mexico have meant to me.  

Since 1986 there were only 4 years when I didn't spend either Spring Break or Christmas break on a 2500 mile road trip "south of the border" to work, to learn, to grow.  

We did this for the chance to commune with God and others while serving across political borders, socio-economic boundaries, and cultural lines. 

If I could fully describe it, then you wouldn't have to go and experience it for yourself.  But you do.

But if I didn't try to describe it I wouldn't be a writer.  My "inner wordsmith" would keep battering my heart from the inside out for a chance to express the inexpressible.

Stories and poems must have the chance to do their work until you're called away from your life "up here" and drawn out and into the life "down there."

Only then will you take your place around the campfire after a day of manual labor, afraid to lick your blistered thumb for fear of the taste of wet wipes and hand sanitizer.

The heat and light from the fire attract the newbie "missionaries" who've just finished their campstove meal of tuna casserole, the only known recipe to incorporate 4 food groups with only 5 ingredients!

But the warmth of the fire is soon dwarfed by the intense passion of hearts united in praise and worship.  

The songbooks viewed by headlamp and the guitarists feeling their way through the chord changes with eyes closed to keep out the smoke.

The illumination is of another kind as each one shares of today's "God-sightings," amazing "coincidences" that appear as if they were planned.

Others speak of "Hearing God's Voice," knowing He spoke and remembering how clearly His point was made.

As Group Leader the opportunity to bring "The Talk" feels like on big "teachable moment."

Scripture comes alive as I talk not about "you should" or "you ought" but "this is what we've been living on this trip.

Themes of servanthood, sacrifice, changed values are viewed through eyes that have just seen Jesus in the face of a child.

Renewed purpose and clearer focus are applied to hearts that felt "at home" building a home for strangers in a foreign country.

"We left our warm houses and soft beds to sleep on the ground in tents for a few days.

So that Jose' and Maria and their family can have a dry place to lay their heads in days to come."

"We left the paved roads and smooth highway to bounce along through dirt and mudholes in search of real treasure.  

And we have found it - here among the community of the less advantaged."

They All Wondered, But Mary Pondered

“And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds.
But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.”  - Luke 2:18-19

I wonder as I wander, but when I ponder, my roots go deep.
My eyes may marvel, but will my mind meditate?
Someone has observed, “Children have lost the capacity to lie in the grass and watch a caterpillar crawl across a leaf.”
We’ve lost it.  It hasn’t always been that way.  Let me tell you a story.

We have raised many children.  We almost lost count. 
Not really, but sometimes it seems like it. 
People say “Whoa, that’s a lot of kids!”
And I’m like, “What?  It’s less than 10.  We’re not even in the double digits!”

Each one is memorable, but there’s something about the first.
I’ll never forget the night Amanda learned to laugh. 
We lived in an on-campus apartment at Denver Seminary and she was in an infant seat on the couch.

Who knows what started the whole thing.
Once we discovered she was capable of that response, the idea was to do it again, to keep it going. 
It was so incredibly entertaining.  Our little girl had a sense of humor.
Her round face and chubby cheeks shook as the convulsive cackling bubbled up from deep inside our little bundle of joy.

That’s how we spent the evening.  It went on and on. 
There wasn’t anything we wanted better than to make Amanda laugh. 
And laugh she did.  I remember wondering later how we had filled our time before God gave us this beautiful little girl.

We wondered, we marveled, but did we ponder, did we meditate?  Not at the time. 
It seems like there wasn’t time.  But we saved the memory, so we could savor it later. 
That’s appropriate, because I’m told that the word for meditate has parallels with a cow chewing her cud. 
She stores it away, then brings it out to chew it again.

Another time this dear little daughter had learned to sit up on her own. 

A wonderful time of life: “Cherish the days of immobility!” 
You could put her down and know right where she’d be a half an hour later. 
Sitting near her on the floor, I for some reason decided to lean forward.  Then I noticed that she copied my actions!  What fun!

I told Susi about it and we took turns leaning in front of her and watching her lean down in imitation. 
Then we’d laugh and she’d laugh.  It went on and on.

What was that all about?  Well it wasn’t just the behavior that amused us. 
We also had an awareness that some higher functioning of the brain was kicking in. 
At that point in her development she observed, she got motivated, she decided and she followed through! 
Wow!  Emerging consciousness in a six month old!

Then there was the “Johnny Jump Up.”
An amazing invention that allows you to place an infant safely in a sling on the end of a spring and adjust it so that toes and feet just touch the floor. 
As the baby realizes the results of pushing off - Viola! - you create an awareness of self-determination.  And again a smile lights up her face.

The sobering thought that accompanies my memories of Amanda in a “Johnny Jump Up” was how it freed me up to get back to reading books and writing papers. 
At one particularly stressful point while writing my thesis, I noticed Amanda bouncing away as I went from one room into another. 
(The JJU always had to be mounted in a doorway.)

It slowed me down just long enough to stop and think - to ponder. 
I wondered, “Five years from now, which will be more important, My thesis or my daughter?” 
Even in the midst of my “publish or perish” crisis the answer was obvious.
I knelt down and looked at the little round face, peering into those deep blue eyes. 
Her response never disappointed me.  A smile lit up her face and enlightened my priorities.

Twenty nine years later as I sit in my office writing this, my thesis sits on a shelf, collecting dust. 
It’s full of profound insights into “The Apologetic of C.S. Lewis as an Art and a Science.” 
There are even a few people other than my mentor who have read it.

But across the room there sits a framed photo from my daughter’s wedding. 
We are emerging from a stand of white birch trees as I bring her down the trail that leads to the altar. 
We are pausing. 
As she holds onto my arm with one hand and her bouquet with the other I am turned to speak. 
Her face shows that she is listening.  I wouldn’t trade that for a thousand theses.

We have shared the wonder of life, with all its amazing discoveries. 
We have pondered, and yes, at times, we have meditated. 
Because so many “moments” in life have import far beyond the “blink of an eye” that it takes to experience them. 
But if we see them for what they are, we will treasure them. 
And we’ll bring them back out to enjoy and benefit from for years to come.

Christmas Prose

God came down!  He put on skin and walked among men!
We beheld His glory - we saw how good He was - He shone!
The same light that lit the stars, the glory of the skies was in His face - full of Grace and Truth.

Everything changed that night. 
Angelic messengers have been coming and going since the dawn of time. 
Perhaps they climbed up and down on Jacob’s ladder - bringing news of Heaven to Earth.

Then in a flurry of angelic visitations and divine revelations, God made preparations for Heaven to come in person!  Zecheriah was told of John the Baptist’s birth and role as “Fore-runner.”  Mary had to be let in on the little secret of her pregnancy, conceived by the Holy Spirit!  Good thing Joseph also got the message, straight from an Angel!

Wise men saw it in the stars
and were then warned in a dream not to share the details about the “new” King
with the wicked “old” King Herod. 
Shepherds got the royal celestial light show,
complete with a “cast of thousands” to accompany the “Word” that was told them.

All because Heaven was breaking out - it couldn’t contain itself
It spilled over and onto the earth that blessed, Holy night. 
Now we, who with unveiled faces behold the Lord’s glory,
can be a part of God’s unfolding plan to bring heaven to Earth.

Thy will be done!  Let Heaven come!  In every heart prepare Him room!

Christmas Poem

The night was holy, the night was clear,
a cosmic event was happening here

Upon the earth a plan was unfolding
because of the babe that Mary was holding

Away in a manger the infant slept
a ray of hope into all hearts crept

The Lord that was come brought Joy to the World
while skies full of angels his banner unfurled

Jacob’s ladder bridged heaven and earth
Jacob’s descendent gave heaven birth

Nothing now could be the same,
Heaven had shared its holy flame

Stars that burned since dawn of time
now joined Angels in visual rhyme

Glory that always had filled the skies
Now was revealed in a baby’s cries

What Child is this? could rightly be asked
The face of God was being unmasked

Listen, what’s that the angels sing?
Glory to the newborn King

Having visited our demise
He can raise us to the skies

Consider all he came to do
Life from Heaven for me and you

Just as God’s will in Heaven is done
So also on Earth through the birth of His Son!

Christmas letter take 2

Life is a stream.  Oatmeal and math flow along on Monday, though our Mondays, like yours, often include rocks and bumps that impede the flow.  On Tuesday there’s Toast and eggs and still math and the history lesson that wouldn’t work on the computer yesterday. 

Everybody loves waffles on Wednesday because we get to put peanut butter on them.   And Piano in the afternoon while Dad reads and takes a nap (as he tries to do every day).  Home-made Granola or your “cereal of choice” on Thursdays and off to worship practice and chess at the Home-school co-op.  On French toast Friday there’s more math and writing and always there’s “read aloud” at lunch.  I love the rhythm of our home-schooling schedule and though I’m in and out, Mom keeps it flowing as Haddon and Soren keep paddling downstream.

 Life is a Garden.  After tilling and planting and weeding and watering, it’s time to “reap what we’ve sown.”  Our daily bread is embellished by the home-made raspberry jam we spread on it.  We eat fresh vegetables that make us strong and have a moment of silence for the rows that did not bear fruit.  High hopes lie wilted by drought or eaten by pests.  We feel intense disappointment, reminding us that life will not be all that it should be until we arrive at our true home. 

Life is a building project, started in the Summer of 2012 and beginning to “yield” as students are living there and meetings are held there. (see pics of “The Lodge” on FaceBook)  I learned a lot from my experience as “General Contractor.” 

But I realized that excavating, foundation, framing, plumbing, drywall, painting, etc. are not my Life.  I love writing and missed the opportunity to compose!  I’m more of a “Wordsmith,” crafting sentences to build understanding, develop insights, and create inhabitable worlds for seeking souls.

My wife encourages me in this, and I only hope I can return the favor by helping her rediscover what areas of gifting bring her the greatest joy and satisfaction.  Even though  laundry and cleaning and homeschooling and making nutritious meals and all manner of household management are in her skill set, there’s more she’s good at and enjoys.  She  did a great job with food & flowers for Amanda’s wedding, all within budget, and her research for meal-planning and homeschooling are ongoing.  She sells books on Amazon and tends the garden in season.

We’re working on partnership in campus ministry.  I couldn’t pull off Friday potluck alone.  And it’s not just the soup or the crust on “pizza night” or the beans for the burritos.  I appreciate her help deciding whether to play “Apples to Apples” or “Catch Phrase” and what to watch for “Movie Night.”  She always spots the college students we need to greet on Sunday morning and when possible she has girls over to the house for discipleship.

Some new staff are helping with Campus Ambassadors.  Zach Beeler has almost finished raising support and Heidi Harbaugh has joined us as a volunteer. It’s great to have them at the book table, at staff meetings, Bible Study and Potluck.

I still look forward to Cave discussions on Friday afternoon, where guys like Ian the Agnostic, Chris the Druid, Ben the ex-Mormon, Taylor the Daoist and Paul the Orthodox debate and discuss things like Rationality and Consciousness.  Campus ministry is a great job, I can honestly say I've never given much serious thought to doing anything else. 

Christmas Lett draft #1

If Life were a donut shop, Soren would be in Heaven, though I’m sure his life here in the Lundquist home involves more “sweet toys” than sweet pastries.  Saving his hard-earned paper route money for “Black Friday,” he just added 3 weapons to his Nerf gun arsenal.  I did take him to “ABC Donuts” after putting out flags on Main St. for Veterans Day (a Boy Scout fund-raiser).  He wisely chose a dollars worth of “holes.”

If Life was a mountain . . . Kaleb would be saying “no sweat” as he summits yet another peak.  He’ll complete his climb up Airman Leadership School before coming home for Christmas.  Soon his climbing gear will include Staff Sergeant stripes.

If Dreams were made of cotton candy and clouds were solid stuff . . .
Katie would be riding on the clouds eating the sweet sticky stuff for breakfast
and sliding down the nearest rainbow to a pot of gold. 
The “golden” boy is Cole Harmon, who currently resides in Redding where they both are studying hard and worshipping even harder at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry.

If mountain goats could talk, they would say to Amanda . . . “I’ve seen you before,” on the rocky crags above Glacier National Park!  But that was long ago when she was but a child.  Now this grown daughter has multiplied love and blessing in our family and to everyone she meets, where-ever she goes, around the world. As the wife of Joel Le Maire, she has multiplied her joy in the husband God brought.  How strange to gain a son who is mature, full-grown (bearded even) and a world-traveler!  He is “grafted in” to our family tree, a branch full of green leaves and bearing good fruit!

If Life is a Tree, Carrie is a blossom, fragrant and beautiful on the tropical Isle.   At home on the beach, living like a local but loving it like a tourist, she is no stranger to hard work.   Two or three jobs pay the rent and buy food, but there are always free mangos!  An artist at heart she has never put down the palette and brushes and hopes to see some of her paintings selling in a gallery on Maui in the very near future.

Since Life is definitely an Ocean, Susi’s grasp of the wind and tides often remind me of the QE2!  Her multi-tasking skills as she keeps in mind an absent-minded husband and children in five states makes me feel like I’m body surfing in Santa Cruz without a wetsuit!  She still assists the “grown children” with everything from nutritional advice to on-line shopping, all the while home-schooling the younger boys and tracking Ben’s progress through High School.

If Life were a High School football game, Nate would be moving on to coaching the team, having given 100% to the game for so many years.  His playing field is a restaurant in Hawaii, where his roles as busboy, cook, dishwasher and server led to becoming a manager who knows and cares about every aspect of customer satisfaction.  When he’s not working he spends time with books and a few close friends.

In the Construction Site of Life, Matt is “back to the drawing board,” realizing that the excavating, foundation, framing, plumbing, drywall, painting, etc. is not as suited to his gifts as the drawing up of blueprints.  After all, someone has to envision the possible structures, or stand back and describe it to the world once it’s finished (see pics of “The Lodge” on FaceBook).  The building experience was productive and profitable, and he learned a lot, notably how much he loves and misses the opportunity to write!  Now he can focus on becoming a “Wordsmith,” crafting sentences and paragraphs to build understanding, develop insights, and create inhabitable worlds for seeking souls.


Haddon’s Life is clearly a Symphonic Performance, though we’re currently trying to minimize the cacophony.  He really can “make a joyful noise” when his heart is in tune.  But, like our guitars, which need frequent re-tuning, it’s an ongoing process.  In addition to guitar, drums and keyboard, he plans to pick up bass soon, as he moves full speed ahead in Home-school co-op worship class.  Legos are an important component he is building into his life.  So he was disappointed when, on Black Friday, with no Legos on sale, his paper route earnings nearly incinerated the pocket of his Levi’s.

If Life was a Chicken Coop, we might say Ben’s relationship to it was kind of “Love-Hate.”  There are chickens, who need food and water and who fill their beloved home with fertilizer for the garden, and all of this Ben looks after, while we encourage due diligence in each task.  But when he has “flown the coop” to the High School or to church on Sunday, Ben much prefers to observe and explore the outside world, his mind gathering interesting information.  He might be considered a typical teenager in that chores and responsibilities also “Fly the Coop.”  These must be faithfully gathered like the eggs that Ben brings up each day after tending to the chickens.

You’ve probably noticed that Life is also a Garden, and after careful attention to tilling and planting and weeding and watering, it’s time to “reap what we’ve sown.”  Tears and laughter, joy and pain accompany us as we bring in our harvest.  Our souls are enriched by daily bread and refreshed by the home-made raspberry jam we spread on it.  We eat the vegetables that make us strong and have a moment of silence for the rows that did not yield.  Plants we envisioned nourishing our spirits lie wilted by drought and heat or eaten by destructive pests.  Our disappointments are keenly felt, reminding us that Life will not be all that it should be until we come at last to that Garden remade. 

Yet through every season of Growing and Gathering there is Sunshine and Rain and our Creator is working it all to our Good.  Because He is Good, and it is good for us to praise and thank Him.  And good for us to trust Him as well. 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the Lundquists

Relationships are like Riding in a Hot-Air Balloon!

Here’s a sobering truth I have come to believe:
Your BEST relationships will be hindered by the condition of your WORST relationships!
Let’s say you’re about to take off in a Hot-air ballon with your new “significant other” optimistic that you’ll be soaring to new heights!   Unfortunately the “baggage” from all past relationships act as “ballast” preventing us from reaching the higher “altitudes.”  Whether it’s unresolved issues with your family, ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, or just the grudge that you carry towards someone who snubbed you.
This is why Jesus taught us to “Love your Enemies”  God knows that however we treat our worst enemies is the way we may one day treat our family, friends, and spouse.  Because eventually, anyone can get on your “wrong side.”  Think about this.
We need to “cut loose” the baggage, letting go of past hurts and seeking reconciliation.
"And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32 NKJV).
Relationships do not survive without kindness and forgiveness.
- Matt Lundquist

It's a Tradition!

Family gatherings are both fun and challenging.  We look forward to spending time together, and really do enjoy seeing one another.  But the pressures of life can be multiplied when we're expected to perform.  Especially on Thanksgiving, everything must be just right.  We get out the china and the crystal, make special rolls and mashed potatoes, put the black olives and sweet midget pickles on the table.  Of course the bird must be cooked to perfection, and then there's the gravy.

We hosted some exchange students from Japan this year for what they were told was a "traditional dinner."  Traditions aren't something you examine directly, unless you're an anthropologist.  But when you're explaining them to someone from another country, you get a different perspective.  How many Americans think about the fact that in other countries they're not celebrating the last Thursday in November with a great feast to remember all there is to be thankful for?  And they don't celebrate the Fourth of July either!

Preparations for the "traditional meal" begin early at our house, as I suspect they do in most homes.   It starts with trying to find a time to go shopping when it won't be a problem just trying to push the cart down the aisle.  And making sure you really need another box of lime Jello for the special salad mold.  Storing a 22 pound turkey where it will thaw, but not too quickly, can give me fits.

When the out-of-town guests arrive we all get to put on our game faces.  But since it's my daughter and her husband there's not much need for masks.  They get more of the "real" sights and sounds of "home for the holidays.  This isn't the first go round for either of them, since Amanda grew up here and Joel was here last Christmas, so they're not surprised.

Soren runs out to help them unload the car, Haddon meets them at the door in his PJ's.  One of them takes Joel's bag and says, "You're sleeping on the futon, right?"
"No," he explains, "that's one of the advantages of being married.  We'll be sharing a room now!"
The boys look puzzled, but no further explanation is needed as they take both bags downstairs to Katie's room.

One of the last jobs the night before is to stuff the bird.  Division of labor calls for Susi to make the stuffing, making sure to put some apple in it.  Then it's my job to get as much of it as possible into the hollow cavity of the giant fowl.  It is then decided that the turkey will rest in the back of the Subaru until it's time to go in the oven the next morning.  The potent aroma of onion and seasoned bread crumbs will hover in the car's interior, but at least the poultry will stay in the "safe zone" - below 40 degrees - preventing the "proliferation of harmful bacteria."

At approximately 6:30 a.m. on the Big Day I check the weather and realize that my featherless friend has been out in 20 degrees, so I decide to get it in the oven a bit early.  Our friends will be joining us at 1 o'clock and I want to make sure everything is ready.  It's nice not to have newspapers to deliver on Thanksgiving Day - benefits of small-town living, there's no paper on Sunday either.

Finally it's time to drive to the University and pick up Mizuki, Yuna, and Marie.  There are five seets in the sweet-smelling Subaru so only one son can accompany me.  Haddon gets the honors because, "There has to be something that the younger brother gets to do that the older one doesn't!"

Our friends are happy to see us, even though we've just met.  Their English is quite good, making conversation easier.  Haddon acts shy at first, then, warming to his task, begins to explain things.
"Soren's at home, that's my brother, he's 11.  Amanda and Joel are there too."
"We don't live very far away, we'll be there soon."

At home it's nice having Amanda and Joel, who ask good questions.  Then the girls learn to play
Dutch Blitz while I carve the Turkey and make gravy.
"Do you think we should tell them that this card game was invented because the Dutch Reformed believed that common playing cards were 'tools of the devil?'"
Susi doesn't think this is such a good idea.  Some things tend to get lost in translation.

Finally the rolls are out of the oven, the turkey and gravy are on the table, along with everything else that our family considers the "Thanksgiving essentials."  We call everyone to the table, eleven in all, and I try to explain the origins of this holiday before having each one share something that we're thankful for.

Strange to think that families all over are sitting down to similar meals, at various times of day.  We explain to our guests that some things are pretty "standard fare" - the turkey, potatoes, stuffing and gravy.  While other items might be unique to our family, like the "frog pond salad" (not made with real frogs, I reassure them, getting a nice courtesy laugh.

It all turns out nicely.  The kids enjoy another game between the meal and the pie - "Wii dance."  The Japanese girls tell me our boys are good at it!  After apple and pumpkin with whipped cream I drive them home.  They assure me it was a memorable experience.  I am very glad we had them come.

One other thing sticks with me.  It's "Only in America."  Not because we're the only ones who are thankful, or even because we have the most to be thankful for.  But because the Governor of Mass. set aside a day to remember to give thanks, and we have continued to observe it.  That's my story and I'm sticking with it!         

On Amanda's Birthday

Nov. 25, 2013
On this day in '84 we learned what life was really for
having children, giving birth, souls in bodies on the earth
First-time parents, we were in awe, what we felt and what we saw
Dear Amanda had arrived and from day one this family thrived
She was sweet and kind to us, quick to smile and not to fuss
Her first laughter came one night filled our hearts with such delight
Had to wonder what we'd done, before she came to bring such fun
once she had an idea wild, get everyone to sponsor a child
with Compassion International, and her efforts were quite intentional
In home-school she set the pace, while her siblings found their place
she loved to read, she loved to learn, she always let others have their turn
In high school helping with youth group, or in our kitchen serving soup
Amanda's love and care for others, went beyond her sisters and brothers
Moving to India she worked to free families from sla-ver-y
meeting Joel in God's good time, made her life-long poem rhyme
now in Salem they're a team, in their eyes there is a gleam
Seeking God's Kingdom to advance, finding their Divine Romance
Daughter Amanda you surely shine, as you're turning twenty nine!
Happy Birthday! LOVE, Mom & Dad

Adventures in Mexico

Numero Uno o Numero Dos?

Leo and I took the van to have some work done. 
One of the “perks” of being a leader on the Mexico trip is that sometimes you just “have to” run errands and get things done - while others are working.
So you get the team going and you grab the van and head to the “Mechanico.” 
This time there just happened to be an awesome place to get some shrimp tostadas. 
It was looking very “tropical” with a thatched roof and stools pulled up around tall round tables.

We ordered up our tostadas and bought some “Ice-cold Cokes.” 
We were reminiscing about past trips, haps and mishaps, the time we ran out of gas, the time we had the flat tire,
all the times we got stuck in the mud, the one time when we didn’t get stuck in the mud . . .

We were feeling pretty fortunate, even a bit privileged, sitting at our stools, satisfied with our meal, sipping our sodas.
It was about time to go back to the mechanic’s shop and check up on the van.  Just one last thing -
“Donde esta El Bano?” 

For those of you who haven’t spent much time south of the border, this has got to be one of the most useful phrases in the Spanish language, a must for the serious tourist.
Loosely translated it means, “I gotta use the potty!”

And even if your comprehension isn’t  so good, the combination of facial expression, pointing and gesturing, along with other context clues will be enough to unravel the mystery:
Do they have a bathroom?  Is it in working order?  How far away is it?  Which way do I go? and, if you’re lucky, Should I bring my own T.P.?

Leo and I, being experienced travelers, have used this phrase often, with quite favorable results. 
We’re so proud of our skills we even offer to help the new kids out by asking this all-important question and interpreting the response. 
The one thing we didn’t expect that day at the Tostada stand was for our question to be met with a question. 
The restaurant proprietor smiled real big, and holding up his fingers inquired,
“Numero uno o numero dos?”
I was confused.  We had already ordered.  We had already eaten.  Was he offering us a combination plate?  The daily special?  Take-out?

It finally dawned on me what he was asking, though I still had no idea why he wanted to know. 
Never mind the “Bring-your-own-toilet-paper?” question. 
He could sidestep that once he narrowed down just how we wanted to use the facility.

But Leo, being just ahead of me on the uptake, was already answering,
“Numero uno!  Solamente numero uno.”
(Leo’s spanish is just short of excellent.)

With a pleased smile and some light laughter our host was now leading us around a corner and pointing down an alley to a chain-link fence about ten yards away. 
Having once been boys, we knew what to do.

As we stood side by side peeing through the fence, we laughed as we came up with various speculations about what would have happened if we needed “Numero Dos.”

“Down the street, second door on your right.”
“Excuse us, we’re here to use the Bano.”
“We gotta go ‘numero dos’”
“Yeah, we brought our own paper.”

It doesn’t take much to get me and Leo laughing, and we had soon worked out a scenario where we got the wrong door looking for the bathroom, and walked in on some unsuspecting family.
LOL ROTFL Almost busted a gut on that one.  Just another day in the "Adventures in Mexico" notebook.

Daddy's Girl

Sitting here at my desk in my office because my dear, wonderful wife loves me and wants me to fulfill my dream as a writer.  Inspired by what I have been reading:  My own accounts of campus ministry - conversations at the Cave with Andrew the Barista, Mike the Marxist, Christian the Buddhist and Greg the Wiccan.  My heart is strangely warmed as I recall the lively and passionate debates we had on the couches at the entrance to the cafeteria (a.k.a. "Cave couches.")  The fire in my chest is kindled again as I picture the Agnostic, Eastern Orthodox, ex-Mormon and Druid who recently joined me on those couches.

I read about past Mexico trips.  Pages and pages of adventure and excitement.  Harrowing accounts of risks taken, obstacles overcome, disasters averted and narrow escapes.  I smile and laugh as I think of my side-kick Leo and the experiences we've shared "south of the border."

Then I stumbled across it.  It catches me every time.  There must be a lot of dust down here in the office - probably from all these books - because my eyes are tearing up.  I just re-read a college English paper written by my oldest daughter, Amanda.  The assignment was "satire."  You don't normally confuse the satire genre with "tear jerker."  But in this case we must make an exception.

Here it is.  The names are changed to protect the guilty.   I call it "Daddy's Girl" but her original title is: "Just Give Me my Care Bear Chair"

What difference did my dad’s intense admiration of his baby girl –me –make? I was just a baby –I didn’t care that my daddy thought I was the most beautiful thing in the world. Years later, why would I possibly care to hear about my first night in the world when my dad took me out to show me off to all his friends?

During the first few months of my life I’m sure I would have felt just as secure in a one size fits all plastic swing as in my daddy’s big, strong arms holding me tight against his chest.
I didn’t need my daddy’s lap to crawl into when I didn’t know where I belonged –my fuchsia pink, Care Bear chair would have done just as well.

It would have been to my advantage if I had learned to read “Hop on Pop” to myself rather than bringing it to my dad time after time. After I was taught to look both ways before crossing the street, there was no point in my dad walking beside me holding my hand; that only reinforced my dependence on men.

I should have learned to wipe away my own tears, comfort myself with my teddy bear after a bad dream, and sing to myself in the waking hours of the night. After all, my dad wouldn’t always be around to pray with me before bed or play his guitar for me when I was restless and couldn’t fall asleep. Knowing that he wouldn’t get mad when I came to his side of the bed after a nightmare, set me up for failure when I moved away to college and found that my roommate didn’t appreciate being woken up at 3am because of a bad dream.

I should not have had reason to expect my dad to show up at every one of my piano recitals with roses in hand –this has only prepared me for a life of disappointment when my husband comes home without flowers on our anniversary year after year.

If I had learned to stand up for myself when I was 9 years old and Little Johnny told me I should love him, my dad wouldn’t have had to intervene. Then I would have been afraid of close relationships with guys and would have saved myself a whole lot of trouble.

If I thought I needed foundation, mascara, and lipstick to be beautiful –then by all means I should have believed it to be true. I could have thought for myself rather than my dad telling me I was beautiful without make-up.

When I was a junior in high school, it wasn’t necessary for my dad to take me to the father-daughter dance. I would have gladly stayed home and watched “Little Women” so I could remain ignorant of my dad’s incredibly enthusiastic dance moves and keep my classmates from becoming jealous that I had the coolest dancing dad in the world.

When I was lying on the couch feeling so sick I was sure I was on my deathbed, I could have easily comforted myself by reading “Enoch Arden” (complete with all the voices) to myself if my dad hadn’t been there.

I could have told that boy I didn’t want to go to the dance with him. I didn’t have to ask my dad to tell him for me, so I didn’t. And I went to that dance and I loved every minute of it –especially the parts where he danced dirty with other girls and then came to me for the slow dances, and when he wouldn’t take me home when I wanted to go. You wouldn’t believe all the good experience I got from that one date –it made me eager to accept all future offers promising a good time.

During my senior year, I would have been fine without my dad to help me with my pre-calculus homework. Having to get up early and go in to see Mrs. Fay before class every morning would have taught me discipline and the value of a granola bar at breakfast rather than the toast, eggs, pancakes, and waffles my dad made each morning.

If my dad had not listened about my latest crush, I could have filled the pages of my diary much quicker than I did. If he hadn’t told me I was perfect just the way I was, I would have focused on my appearance more and would have probably had more dates leading to fulfilling long term relationships.

It brought warm fuzzies to my heart when my dad cried while he gave a speech at my high school graduation, but warm fuzzies are only temporary. The satisfaction I could have had if I had made it through school all my own would have lasted forever.

When I was homesick and crying in the dorm parking lot away at college, I would have been fine without my dad answering the phone and telling me he loved me and that everything was going to be alright. Because of times like those, I’m insecure about who I am and to whom I belong.

In the future, I think it will be highly profitable for me to walk down the aisle by myself –with both my parents where they belong –in the pews on the sidelines. I won’t need my dad to validate the beauty of my someday daughter –her Grandpa’s opinion of her would only make me love her for foolish reasons –like the size of her baby toe or the way her finger clasps mine.

I’m sure my husband will agree that our daughter should not be brought up as a “daddy’s girl” like I was. Girls don’t need their dad’s to hold them, hold their hand, or hold their heart –there are plenty of Care Bear chairs to go around.

***** Dad's Comments *****
We didn't set out to raise a writer.  Though her mother and I certainly wanted all of our children to develop a love for books (beginning with "Hop on Pop").  I wasn't competing for "Father of the Year."  But it's great to be somebody's hero.  Especially when it's your daughter.

Thanks, Amanda, for being my guest author today.  You not only bring back "tear-jerking" memories of growing up in the Lundquist Family, you also demonstrate the power of satire and wit.  As Mark Twain observed, "the art of making your audience feel your point, as well as see it."

The Poem

Events careen towards wrack and ruin
wonder if God knows what He’s doin’
questions no one asks out loud
can’t see through this fog and cloud
stumbling, plodding almost falling
moving towards the voice that’s calling
fuzzy head and heavy heart
if only I could press “re-start”
feels like hell, I must press on
can’t stop here, I’m being drawn
the voice is still, the voice is small
I read the writing on the wall
cuz there’s no place He cannot speak
the light is dim, I get a peak
behind the veil, one clear thought
don’t forget that you’ve been bought
snap, the notion now in mind
implications soon unwind
He has walked the path before
built a bridge, unlocked the door
Once again my way is clear
costly love drives out the fear
Our Pioneer has blazed the trail
sprung the trap and gone our bail
We can follow through the night
knowing that His face is bright